hey, i hate myself, but i kinda need your guys’ help

severus-snape-is-a-butt-trumpet:

this is dumb and i hate even asking, but i’m in a pickle and am not entirely sure where else to turn.

here’s the lowdown: i got a new job, but for that job i had to drop literal hundreds of dollars to meet the requirements, which basically meant clearing out my bank account. my credit card is maxed from moving from nebraska to california, and anyone i would normally ask for money is facing their own financial crisis and i don’t want to add to their plate with my own drama. 

as previously stated, i got a job, but that job has yet to give me a single hour, and while i’ve applied to other jobs, i have upcoming bills that are gonna come to pass before i get a solid paycheck. here’s what i need help with:

• car insurance $120, due on the 28th
• car payment $128, due on the 31st
• medical bill ~$200, due (on my freaking birthday) feb 4th
• speeding ticket from kansas (rip) for $1freaking58, due idk, i have to check, but i’m pretty sure at the beginning of februrary
• anything else would go to my credit card, which is maxed at $2500 bc life is terrible

i would just try to defer stuff until i have money, but my car stuff is automatic, and without it i can’t do my job/get literally anywhere, my medical bill is already delinquent and is about one late payment away from going to the collection agency, and i’ve never had a speeding ticket before, but i’m pretty sure they’re unhappy if you don’t pay it, and it’s not like i can get to kansas for any sort of court date. basically, i’m fucked and really embarrassed about it, but all these unforeseen expenses have dug me into a big ol’ ugly hole, and if you would be willing to help, i’d basically owe you everything.

it also doesn’t have to be for free. i can do the following things:

• edit any writing you need edited 
• write you fanfics or original work, of which i’ll prioritize above everything else i’m working on (go to my fic tags on my blog to see examples of my work)
• record any sort of audiobook/audiofic you want done (idk, it’s something i have on my upwork.com profile as a skill?)
• make you crappy gifsets
• crochet you ugly hates or golden snitches?? (that’s kind of all i can crochet well) 
• u tell me to do something stupid and record it and put it online, and i’ll do it. want me to cover my face in peanut butter and dance the macarena? i’ll do it, i have no dignity left
• idk, name your price, i’m desperate!!

my paypal is diz.andthe.void@gmail.com. literally anything helps. if all my followers donated just one USD i’d have enough to pay off my car in full. and if you can’t help, could you signal boost? ik, i hate doing that too, but i’d super appreciate it.

i also promise to return the favor when i have money myself. keep the goodwill going. 

idk. i am very embarrassed, but i love you all, even if you can’t help. thank you regardless. 

i hope you see cool cloud formations today,

-diz