Author: acescents

planetfatness:

overheard a girl’s phone conversation on the bus where she angrily asked the person on the other line why she had to call on someone else’s phone – “why did you block my number?? yes you did! then why didn’t you answer my calls or texts???” and i was like damn, this girl is mad, i kinda feel bad for whoever she’s talking to. then she said “no, grandma, LISTEN” and i was like grandma, the fuck? how could you?

samalsoblogs:

riverselkie:

i want to run away…but like in ghibli movie. like i take a block of cheese a loaf of bread and some apples and wander through the flower-specked mountains wrapped up in a shawl and i happen to wander into a moving castle and fall in love with a cute wizard

me (deep in the woods, dragging dufflebag of Kraft Singles™

 and hopelessly lost): where’s totoro

Coworker: What’s your favorite Christmas movie?
Me: *Automatically thinks of Tokyo Godfathers*
Me: *Frantically tries to think of literally any other movie because there is no way in hell I am explaining Tokyo Godfathers to a 59 year-old rural Wisconsinite*
Me: Uh… A Christmas Story.

gotitforcheap:

Kids these days have it easy, what happened to the good old days where our negligent parents would go on a trip to Florida over the chirstmas holidays and due to a power outage the night before leaving, arrive late and unorganized to the air port, leaving me, Kevin Mccallister behind at the house, alone, home, defending myself against 2 robbers trying to murder me. Kids these days can’t just “mindcraft” their way out of attempted murder and home invasion, they barely know how to set up booby traps and hit people with paint cans.