karlcat:

it is a Scientifically Proven Fact that once a group of people become friends, the tendency to make really foolish decisions skyrockets…. and from this chaos…. the Mom Friend™ rises, ready to keep everyone alive, armed with exasperation and common sense in spades

punkfaery:

paul hollywood on bakeoff: now, i can see you’ve had a little trouble with your genoise sponge, haven’t you? the egg whites haven’t been whipped for quite long enough, and it’s lost some of that delicate, airy consistency, which means that your 10,000 spun sugar decorations haven’t got the solid foundation that they really need to support the handcrafted marzipan statue of the virgin mary that you’ve painted with edible gold leaf

me, shoving handfuls of reheated takeout pizza into my gaping maw: a rookie mistake

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

maxiesatanofficial:

maxiesatanofficial:

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just