hey theater kids, are you tired of doing the same old vocal warm ups?
“how now brown cow?“ stop asking. that cow is the same as it’s always been. try these instead!
- It’s unlawful to offer an awful waffle when you’re all full.
- My ex expected exceptional eggs.
- I can’t complain about the pancake campaign.
- Banana bandanas are banned from Anna’s cabana.
- We caught the cocky coffee coughing.
what the fuck
You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell
Did Ernest Hemingway write this post
When I was a kid I thought cats getting stuck in trees would be a much bigger issue than it is.
raise your hand if you’re that type person who never knows what the hell is going on
I want to get my shit together and turn my life around but I also want to die
on one hand i hate this site and the “culture” of it so much but on the other hand no other site lets me amass all my bizarre interests in one place then stream them straight to my skull at a speed that breaks the sound barrier.
c-3po is a really relatable character to me because like theres no practical reason to give a robot an anxiety disorder, and yet here we are
Anakin: I made a droid.
Obi-Wan: You fucked up a perfectly good robot is what you did. Look at it, it has anxiety.
Something else is hurting you – that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can’t think.
Charles Bukowski (via unextinguished)
I also had a convo with a small child at the aquarium bc she pointed at a thing in the tank and asked me what it was and then it immediately made bubbles and I was like “well looks like u have magic powers” she was like “…maybe… I do…” and I said “train them” and she promised she would
how come there isnt a single college professor out there that realizes the address bar on chrome doubles as a google search. every time i see a professor open chrome and then type in google.com i lose 2 days off my life span
this post is making college professors mad every time i get a notification on this post and its a professor upset that theyve been Called Out i just gain back 2 days of my lifespan so keep it up, i might eventually regain all the days i lost watching yall try to figure out how to use The Internet
