pettyrevenge:

I’ll start off by saying that I take pride in cooking customers orders to perfection, and I strive to always make the customer happy. It’s hard to do that when the person calls back every time no matter what and says that we messed their order up in some way. 

Well today sir, today was your last meal from us. I deleted your account and blocked all of your numbers that you have ever called us from. When you call, you will get a never ending elevator music tone. I also took the liberty of emailing every pizza place in a 3 mile radius of our store to inform them of your selfish habit. I told them what you do, and how many times you have done it to us. 

Hope you like Chinese food from now on fucker.

apeggycarterrs:

xxhellocoldworldxx:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

@dwallin

Draco Malfoy in the books

hipsterkankuro:

If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know…

  • Draco Malfoy personally made the Potter stinks buttons and nobody could fix them to say Harry was cool and shit, if they tried it would only make the insults worse
  • You wouldn’t know Draco Malfoy was always right behind Hermione in grades
  • You wouldn’t know Draco was seriously the most animated person at school and acted out everything. 
  • You wouldn’t know Draco got deeply offended when people didn’t laugh at his jokes
  • You wouldn’t know Draco created the Weasley is our King song, tune and all. (Probably in the shower or something because he’s such a weenie) 
  • You wouldn’t know Draco and Ron got into a fist fight in their first year
  • You wouldn’t know about the huge knock down drag out between Draco, Harry and the rest of the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch team in their fifth year. (Harry  and Draco just fucking tackle each other and start whooping each others asses and it’s amazing.)
  • You would miss out on basically everything Draco says and does. He’s a walking gold mine and It’s upsetting the movies didn’t devote a few seconds for any of his shit (Azkaban did an okay job) 
  • You wouldn’t know about the Weasley is our king buttons he made in fifth year either
  • You wouldn’t know Draco didn’t actually try and fight a Hippogriff

    he was just petting him and offhandedly said that he was ugly. He didn’t sprint over to him, he actually did all the bowing and what not.

If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know that Draco is the most annoyingly smart and artistic little shit you’ve ever heard of. 

thecultivationofideas:

For people with social anxiety, EVERY message they send feels like a “risky message,” not just the ones with heavy emotional content. Every conversation feels like a chance to say something wrong and destroy a perfectly lovely friendship. Silence, while avoiding that problem, is also perilous because waiting too long before breaking the silence, increases the chance that the silence will be taken as a rejection. 

SOCIAL ANXIETY FUCKING SUCKS AND EVERYTHING IS MENACING TO ME.