why does every recipe blog gotta precede each recipe with like, a 3000 word fic about going to the farmer’s market or visiting some place
There could be MadLibs of this.
“Well, it’s [season] time again, which means all the [age group] and [age group] go down to the [place to get food] with [some cloying thought/sensation about how fuckin’ good food often is] in their [body part]. I remember my first time at [food place] when I was a [younger of the two aforementioned age groups] with my [relative who is the older of the two aforementioned age groups]. It was [year], and [historical event that has no real relevance to the story or recipe] was [happening/just happened]. All the [ingrediens] at [food place] were a [adverb] [color], and we all talked like we were in a fucking children’s book. I couldn’t wait to go home with our bags full of [ingredients], and to
the [ingredients] in a [food container]. The smell still reminds me of [relative]’s house! All I ever thought about was food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and ingredients, food and”
[picture of a tree] [picture of a counter with ingredients artfully arranged all over the damn place] [about three more pictures just like the last one with only slight variations in composition]
[still no recipe]
Insert anecdote about how nuanced and sophisticated your children’s palettes are and how your husband, who only gnaws on the legs of living cows which have been sprayed in ranch dressing, even enjoyed this.
[photo of the half-eaten dish on a fucking tree stump or something]
[click to next page for recipe]
Somewhere, a tablecloth is in soft focus.
Actual recipe involves three ingredients you have to Google and/or can only get at Whole Foods.
Do you know who doesn’t get enough love from the Harry Potter fandom?
Madam Poppy BAMF Poppy
Escorted a teenage werewolf to a deadly tree each month.
Took care of that teenage werewolf after every full moon and you know that she probably fussed over him and mothered him and gave him a bunch of chocolate.
Literally didn’t question things.
This boy has a bite that’s turning green and he says is from a dog? Okay.
This girl is half-cat? Alright
Had to put up with Harry’s excessive injuries each year.
Took care of and cured a bunch of petrified students.
Didn’t put up with Malfoy’s crap.
LITERALLY YELLED AT DUMBLEDORE!
YELLED AT THE MINISTER OF MAGIC!
KICKED DUMBLEDORE AND THE MINISTER OF MAGIC OUT!!!
Was the one who took care of Cedric Diggory’s corpse.
Refused to resign under Umbridge’s regime because she was afraid of what would happen to the students.
Took care of everyone during the battle in HBP.
Fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and tended to the wounded/dead.
Probably had to deal with hundreds of students who misused the Engorgio Charm.
girl in the bar: *6 wings unfolding from her back as her body morphs into a conglomeration of lion’s heads covered in burning eyes* you will forget all you have seen *painless white holy fire sweeps across the bar, when the blinding light fades no one remembers a thing and she is gone*
Always learn poems by heart. They have to become the marrow in your bones. Like fluoride in the water, they’ll make your soul impervious to the world’s soft decay.
Don’t attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you’re lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself… know what you want.
