Tag: hp

savingsirius:

pros and cons of ravenclaw house

pros:

  • most artistic house
  • good at thinking outside the box 
  • the best story tellers hands down
  • they’d be that one kid who manages to solve the problems and help everyone else understand the work because the teacher can’t explain it right
  • really humorous in general, sarcastic and satirical is their best
  • good mediators for any sort of argument
  • great at brainstorming sessions 

cons:

  • hipster scum
  • they’re, overall, the laziest house
  • tend to be condescending even if their grades suck because they know all the answers
  • most likely to be stoners 
  • whiny babies 
  • put everything off until the last minute because they “work best under pressure”
  • they get a song stuck in their head and they hum it for the rest of the day until you hate them, the song, and everything else

other houses: (x) (x) (x)

dumbledore: fuck yeah i got the resurrection stone!
dumbledore: oh shit, where can i hide it?
dumbledore: *sees a snitch that can only open if harry potter makes out with it*
dumbledore: there is no possible way this isn’t the best idea i’ve ever had

assetsational:

joolaweed:

something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort

*scoffs* ‘“Dark Lord” huh??? that just sounds to me like another way of saying you don’t have a REAL JOB.’

wolfstar 16

protectnevillelongbottom:

wolfstar + brand new neighbours au (oh no here we go)

“Okay, on three. One. Two. Three,” Sirius said aloud, and he gritted his teeth against the extra weight on his knees and the uncomfortable stretch in his shoulders. With the help of his best mate James, he maneuvered the sofa in line with the stairs and started backing his way up. 

After they reached the first landing, they set the sofa on the ground so they could catch their breath. 

“Did you have to choose the fourth floor?” James complained.

Sirius pulled the couch in the direction of the next flight of stairs and laughed. “Yes, I did that just to spite you, James. I also made you help me move in.”

“You also stole my couch,” James retorted, following his friend.

“You’re the one who’s kicked me out of his apartment. I paid rent. This sofa was mutually funded, and I deserved to get something if I was to be removed from the vicinity. I chose the couch. And the cat,” Sirius trailed off as they both bent down to pick up each end of the sofa. “Reparations,” he continued, “a settlement. Alimony, if you will.”

James’ head was only visible enough for Sirius to see his rolling eyes. “We weren’t married, and I am not paying your rent.”

“Ah, so you’ll be here to help me move this couch back down these stairs when I get evicted?” Sirius joked and then promptly tripped, landing on his backside on the second landing with a resounding ‘oof’. 

“You’d better wait until the summer. It’s bloody freezing out here. Who’s idea was outdoor stairs? Preposterous,” James muttered, swinging his arms in circles to help relieve some of the pain in his shoulders. “Tell me, why couldn’t we levitate your furniture?

Sirius stood back up and wiped his trousers off. “Muggle neighborhood. One more? The mattress and frame are all that’s left in the trunk, and they aren’t quite as heavy.”

At James’ nod, they both took up their positions by the sofa. With a great heave, the weight of the sofa was distributed between them and Sirius started moving up the next flight of stairs. 

“And anyway, this couch and I share a special bond. I’ve eaten curry on it. Slept on it. Had sex on it,” Sirius tried to mumble the last part, but it came out as loud as, if not a bit breathier than, usual.

“So have I,” James wheezed out.

A beat passed. “Gross.”

A short, unfamiliar laugh rang out and Sirius twisted his neck in the direction of the sound. Playful grey eyes met amused amber and Sirius let out a small, almost inaudible gasp, whether from shock or exertion, he wasn’t quite sure. The man was casually leaning against the banister, hands curled around a mug of steaming something. His pajama bottoms hung low on his hips and the thin grey cotton shirt was wrinkled from sleep. Sirius’ eyebrows jerked up in surprise and he promptly lost his grip on the sofa. 

“Padfoot,” James mumbled, leaning against the sliding sofa. He pressed his shoulder to the side and pushed, grunting. “Sirius? Padfoot, come on… I can’t hold…” He craned his neck to see over the sofa and saw Sirius mesmerized by a man on the next landing. Sighing, he quickly backed up and let the sofa slide back to the previous landing. He settled onto it for a rest.

“I think you almost killed your friend,” the man said in an easy voice, clearly entertained.

“He’s fine,” Sirius said quickly, without even a glance back at James to check that he was, actually, fine and not a squashed heap under the weight of the sofa. “I’m sorry. My name is Sirius.” He held out a hand, which the man took gingerly.

“Remus,” the man replied. “I live in 4B.”

“I’ll be in 4A, once James gets his lazy arse up and helps me move all my stuff in,” Sirius retorted. Peering up the stairs with a exasperated look, James pushed himself to his feet, mumbling.

Sirius watched in fascination as Remus took a long gulp from his mug, throat working around the swallow. He cleared his throat after and looked down the stairs. “Well, hop to it, Jamie. I’m quite ready to have a neighbor that doesn’t have twelve cats or take pride in a collection of heavy metal music and industrial stereos.” 

He fixed Sirius with a quick smile and retreated back into his apartment.

Harry: snape i know my dad saved your life tho so stop being an asshole tbh
Snape: saved my life????? all he did was stop me from being eaten by his best friend after sirius tricked me into going into the shrieking shack on a full moon!
Sirius: ahaha classic