Author: acescents

kyousaya:

when u see the name of your state on your dash and you’re like

I LIVE THERE

acescents:

they’re fighting over whether or not they should add extra cheese to the broccoli casserole

my grandpa just looked his mother dead in the eye while dumping in more cheese. savage

eearth:

me, when literally anything happens: maybe it’s a sign 

kairwolf:

grandma has been run over by a reindeer every Christmas eve since 1979 and frankly i’m beginning to believe it isn’t an accident

killbenedictcumberbatch:

jesus christ, be polite to children and show them manners. fucking say excuse me when you walk past them, apologize to them when you cut them off, thank them when they’re courteous to you. they’re not little objects that don’t matter. you should be a fucking example and teach them how to treat people, instead of acting like they’re these invisible THINGS that don’t have feelings or don’t notice when they aren’t acknowledged. be polite to children the same way you’d be polite to someone of your own age group or older. you can respect a child.

storyofthislife:

making people laugh is literally the best feeling ever

tyleez:

pretty sure my chorus teacher hates me because every time we sing silent night and get to the line ‘holy infant so tender and mild’ i just lose it. so tender and mild. jesus is a tiny tender steak. the pastor adds a mild spice rub. serves him with a side of carrots and potatoes. mary did you know your son is a fucking cured meat. sleep in heavenly peace meat boy