acescents

treehaver:

customer service worker: *apologizes for something very minor and inconsequential*

me, in tears: you’ve done nothing wrong, ever, in your life

greyjoyvs:

Agent Mulder? I’m Dana Scully. I’ve been assigned to work with you.

undercapricornicus:

shitshilarious:

at what point do you realize you have too many lizards

you do not

archi-diary:

Leo’s Oyster Bar

sailorbryant:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.

teawitch:

amorphousursa:

iamhannalashay:

Just kinda wanna be braless and eat fruit in peace tbh

So did Eve and look where that got her

I don’t know about you, but there are days when I could go for being braless, eating fruit and bringing about the downfall of man.

nadiaoxford:

I don’t have a hard time believing this.

https://vine.co/v/OJLuxPBV6A0/embed/simple //platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js

(Source: https://vine.co/)

batmanisagatewaydrug:

you know what’s really genuinely unsettling? the degree to which men fucking do not want to sympathize with/be interested in women.

male audiences will happily watch a dozen superhero shows, but then something like Agent Carter or Supergirl turn up and they’re panned from the first trailer and have to struggle for ratings. male audiences will watch countless installments of a franchise as long as it’s about men doing man things but the second a character like Rey or Furiosa or god forbid four entire female Ghostbusters steps up and takes a position of prominence it’s “pandering sjw bullshit”.

it’s not pandering. men just aggressively don’t want to have to be invested in a woman’s narrative and it’s really gross.