i hate it when you accidentally pick off a bit of dead skin on your lip and you can’t stop until you’ve peeled your entire face off
Nice legs. Daisy dukes. Makes a man go. There he goes. He’s gone.
2016 is quite a year
ted cruz is literally an alien making up human idioms and hoping they work im so stressed
I looked this up because I didn’t believe but he actually…….did say this
Connect The Dots To Help Mr. Owl
Obvious Plant (previously featured here) and his friends teamed up to write an entire newspaper’s worth of hilarious fake classified ads. Sign us up for that bag of magic beans, we want to pet that cloud dog too!
My friends and I wrote a bunch of fake want ads and turned it into a newspaper. See the whole paper here.
tag yourself i’m the oven with a hell portal
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we’re like “that’s a soup ladle”.
i just spoke to a 4 year old who has a phone. a real working phone. with data and everything. who she gon call? elmo aint got minutes
me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism???????? what?????
*pets your grunge*
wow, its so soft
