Me: *picks up cat* Explain to me why you’re so cute.
Cat: :3
Me: Interesting…
sometimes i forget that morbid, playfully self-deprecating jokes about my mental health are not always appropriate…?? especially around neurotypical people who don’t know how to react. like there’s this awkward pause, this unspoken ‘do i laugh, or…??’, this sort of ‘…dude are u ok’ look they give. and it’s just like, it’s ok, i cope with existential dread through deadpan and/or nonsensical shitpost-esque humor. [thisisfine.jpg]
as much as I hate buzzfeed and their pitiful version of “journalism”, let it be clear that if they asked me to come work for them I would sell out immediately and forget everything I know about creative writing in favor of getting a fat salary for copying and pasting gifs from 16-year-olds’ blogs and calling it an article
every time a girl calls me cute my lifespan increases by 5 years
miscommunication as a plot device makes me angry
if you just talked to each other but no
on the one hand i agree with this but on the other hand one of my coworkers rented an alpaca from a petting zoo and brought it to work because my boss said she wanted an alpaca sweater but the guy didn’t hear her say sweater and didn’t want to upset her by asking why the fuck she’d want an alpaca
I’m going to have to deal with some serious shit when all the stuff I’ve been ignoring finally catches up to me haha
i just want to relax!!!! all the time!!!!! i dont want stress and anxiety in my life!!!!!!
I learned that you should feel when writing, not like Lord Byron on a mountain top, but like a child stringing beads in kindergarten — happy, absorbed and quietly putting one bead on after another.
Brenda Ueland
(via thetinhouse)
(via thetinhouse)
me as detective
me: victim is 6’1"., his body..Has already turned into a ghost…..
police officer: sir. that’s just a sheet we covered the body with
being a human is kinda dumb because we get to REASON and THINK HARD which really isn’t fair, i’d rather be an orchid and eat light beams all day, no offense to the miracle that is evolution, like, thanks for the opportunity to participate in an advanced society but put me in the ground
